Tied up in knots

I was set to go to the gym on Wednesday, really I was. I had been reluctant initially, dragging my heels by washing up and emptying bins. Menial tasks suddenly seemed strangely inviting in the face of extreme physical exertion. When I work-out, I work-out - no half measures for me. But I felt tired and drained. The day's exertions had greedily gobbled up my energy reserves and I was left feeling uninspired.
Nevertheless I soldiered on. I put on my gym gear (which consisted of natty leggings and boyfriend's Bobby Moore t-shirt- don't really do gym couture) and told myself that I would get right into it as soon as I started to break a sweat. Yadda yadda yadda...
You may feel that I am being deliberately perisphatic. If I was, then it would certainly mirror my procrastinating gym avoidance techniques. However, I am not employing a clever literary device. I am merely trying to accentuate an environment entirely inconducive to emotional epiphany.
I couldn't have been further from my usual state of being the paradoxically self obsessed social observer, ready and willing to pounce upon humanity's idiosyncrasies and exploit them.
I was finally ready in that I could find absolutely nothing else to do apart from go. I reached for my handbag. In it was my one salvation- my Ipod. Hopefully Caleb's special kind of fire would ignite a far more mundane one in me. I pulled the headphones to my ears. I noticed they were knotted. This is not surprising. I am notoriously careless with electrical appliances. The simple rule is that if you put them away properly then they will be ready for use next time. As a chided myself for my slapdash ways, I started to think about how this small inconvenience actually spoke volumes. If I finished conversations, projects, ideas, conflicts, days, relationships, nights (the list could go on) properly then, when I was ready to reassess the situation, it would be understandably easier. If I leave loose knotty, fractured ends of misunderstanding then, when I return to the issue, it is fair to say that nothing will have improved. At the very least, it will be as bad as it was when I left it.
I tried to tackle the problem. I pulled at the knots. This way and that, trying to work out how to free my headphones. I became frantic, grabbing one end and the other at the same time. I could see I was making more knots and contributing to the problem but I could not stop myself.
It got to the point where I felt sick at the futility of it all. I wanted to chuck my iPod at the wall and abandon any plans of moving at all; resolving to stew on the sofa in my own inadequacy.
I started to think that this is often how I approach problems. I launch myself straight in, burrow deeply, expect solutions and people to buckle if I pressure and manipulate them enough. My fervour usually ends up having the opposite effect. My desperation to solve the problem could possibly end up being the problem.
I did not chuck my iPod at the wall. Instead, I took a deep breath and looked at it in an attempt to gain clarity. After a moment, I took one headphone and saw how it was crossed over another wire. I fed it through. I could then see that if I fed it through again, it loosened the first knot. I continued this slow process and eventually the knots began to dissipate.
It made me think, when approaching an issue, I often don't take time to really see it. It is not easy but I think that I need to take one thing at a time and slowly try to make sense of it in relation to everything else. When I come out the other side hopefully things will be clearer. We'll see.