In the Electoral College the vote is not directly proportional. Each state is allocated votes based upon its population. Winner of popular vote=winner of all ECV votes (except Nebraska and Maine) This is why 3rd parties/independents have NO chance- 1992 Ross Perot 19% pop vote but ECVs? Not a sausage.
1st candidate to get 270 ECVs, wins. Sounds simple...
3X the president has won election without winning popular vote- last one being in 2000
ECV Heavy weights are California (55), New York (31) and Texas (34) HOWEVER they have boringly voted the same way (D/D/R) since 1976, Swing states are what you want to watch out for.
Battleground states- these are where battle is actually fought. Historically the friskiest states have been Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania. But this year many believe that the election will be fought in the mountain states- Colorado, Nevada and New Mexico
What channel shall I watch?
Sky- have created own mini White House in Biscayne Bay, Miami. 54 ft yacht, loads of special guests. Live coverage 11pm-6am with key reporters in D/R camps and battleground states
BBC- Dimbleby joins BBC America anchor Matt Frei for live coverage 11.15am-6am. They will also have detailed analysis from Jeremy Vine and ABC former anchor Ted Koppel. They will have reporters in swing states, with bloggers in Times Sq and John Simpson will be charting black reaction
ITV- Trevor McDonald will introduce proceedings with the News at 10 and live coverage will begin from midnight. Principal coverage will come from Washington Correspondent John Irvine, International editor Bill Neely and senior correspondent James Mates.
CNN are holding (in their words) "The most demanding and technological production" it has ever staged. There will be minute by minute reportage with John King. He will use a "magic wall" to break down data from key states.
Staffing numbers-
BBC- 50 permanent +125
ITV 15-20
Sky 40
Your Guide to Election Night (timings based on 2004)
11pm- coverage starts but nothing much happens for awhile so kick back and decide who you are backing- McCain or Obama? If you are going red, have a tipple of McCain’s favourite tipple: Stoli vodka. If you are going blue then unfortunately Obama’s favourite drink is water. Bad luck.
1.20am North Carolina
ECV- 15
Polls-Toss up
2004 R
Demo- 74% W 22%B
Important info- Hasn’t gone D since 1976, Economy and black vote, could be state that decides if Obama wins easily
Eat: Sweet potato chips
1.40am Virginia
• ECV 13
• Polls- D leaning
• 2004 R
• Demo- 73% W 20% B
• Important info- Traditional R but gradual shift seen in 2006 senate race, Northern Liberals, last time state went D was 1964
• Eat: peanuts and maybe have a cigarette if that is your thing
2am New York
• ECV- 31
• Democrat state
• Eat/Drink: Long Island Iced Tea and a bagel with a schmear
Texas
• ECV-34
• Republican big hitter
• Eat- BBQ chicken- finger lickin' good
3.16am- Missouri
• ECV 17
• Polls-D solid
• 2004- D
• Demo W 84% B11%
• Important info- Has voted with presidency in every election bar one since 1900. High turnout for D primary and BO hails from neighbouring Illinois
• Drink- copious amounts of Budweiser
3.40am – Pennsylvania
• ECV-21
• Polls- D solid
• 2004- D
• Demo- W 84% B 10%
• Important info- BO lost to HC by 10 points in primary- blue collar workers. He needs to appeal to urbanites as Mc will win in rural areas
• Eat- have a slice of shoofly pie (treacle tart)
4am California-
• ECV- a greedy 55
• A democrat safeseat
• Drink- open a bottle of Jacob's Creek
4.22am- Colorado
• ECV 9
• Polls- D leaning
• 2004- R
• Demo- W 74.5% B 3.8%
• Important info- D convention held here, Big D win for Dem Governor Bill Ritter 2006. BUT McCain comes from neighbouring Arizona
• Drink- time for another brewski? Make it a Coors
5.27am Florida
• ECV 27
• Polls- Toss up
• 2004- R
• Demo-65.4% W, 14.6% B
• Important info- OB has lead despite lack of campaigning for primary. Ghost of voting debacle 2000
• Eat- If you have room, cut a slice of key lime pie
6am- Ohio
• ECV 20
• Polls- D leaning
• 2004- R
• Demo 84% W, 10% B
• Important info- Major battleground in 2004, McC- huge appeal in south but Reps have faced scandal in state. OB needs to tackle blue collar workers and opposition to free trade agreement he has endorsed
• Drink: Breakfast time! Nurse the hangover with a bloody mary- tomato juice is Ohio's state beverage
You may need to go to work now…
4.34pm Nevada
• ECV- 5
• Polls- Dem leaning
• 2004 R
• Demo- 65% W, 6.8% B, Hispanic 19.7%
• Important info- BO is counting on influx of outsiders- 10% population increase in last 3 years. Latinos like McC’s moderation on immigration. Deciding factor could be stance on proposed nuclear site at Yacca Mountain. McC for, BO against
Another important state that didn’t call before Bush reached 270 in 2004
New Mexico
• ECV 5
• Polls D leaning
• 2004 D
• Demo- 44% W, 1.9% B and 42.1% Hispanic
• Important info- part of the trio of mountain states set to decide election. Famous for recent nailbiters- Bush won by 6000 votes in 2000 and Kerry won by 600 in 2004. Both candidates believe they have advantage- McC due to Arizona roots and Bo because of his endorsement from popular state governor Bill Richardson
• Drink- Hair of dog? Grab a bottle of Sol and stick a wedge of lime in it
What do you do if you want to go to bed before 6am?
New Hampshire may only have 4ECVs but it has historically been a good indicator of the eventual winner
The other theory goes, if one candidate wins Florida (27), Pennsylvania (21), Ohio(20), North Carolina(15) and Virginia(13) then they are a pretty safe bet!
Friday 31 October 2008
Male Bonding- going back to your Neolithic roots
Hunting? Bad. Against the law even. Nevertheless men need to fulfill their desire and role as hunter-gatherers. At some point, they are also in the position where they have to plan a big all-male event: as best man, for a birthday, bar mitzvah or just because they have more money than sense. Therefore it makes sense to investigate what other options there are available for men who just want to step back in time and get all Neanderthal.
Bolving
What?
Apparently an archaic tradition in Exmoor although some argue that it is a relatively new phenomenon. The red deer there are mainly silent and live separately for most of the year. This all changes when it comes to mating season- Sept- early Nov. Stags engage in roaring contests where they make deep guttural noises to attract females and intimidate other males.
Why?
Bolving evolved when hunting was de rigueur and farmers used to mimic the deers’ wails in order to lure and snuff them out. This deceptive behaviour is not really the done thing anymore but the men of Exmoor grew so attached to this practice, they gave it a name, bolving and turned it into a sport all of its own.
When?
The 5th annual bolving competition took place in Dulverton on the 18th October and was well received- raising £1,800 for charity. The competition was judged on sound quality, pitch and the deers’ response. After the event, participants and spectators all pile back to The Rock Inn for the prize-giving ceremony. Due to press coverage the previous year, there was a mass influx of supporters. It could certainly be an interesting location to consider if you are trying to organize a stag do for next year. It will be young bucks a-plently.
Contact: email: mal@webmagik.co.uk or post: The Organisers, Bolving Competition 2009, The Rock House Inn, 1 Jury Road, Dulverton, West Somerset, TA22 9DU
Clay Pigeon Shooting
What?
This one is fairly well known. This is a mocked up version of using a shotgun to kill birds. There are different variations but essentially you will stand in a particular place and clay disks will be released at different points into the sky and you will shoot at them. When you hit stuff, you will rack up points and be able to compete with your comrades.
Why?
Bird Shooting was made illegal in 1921 so this little game has become increasingly popular ever since. You can get the thrill of the hit or kill without feeling guilty when you see tweety-pie.
When?
Whenever you want! Since no living things are involved, you are not at the mercy of their seasonal whims. Laser Pigeon Shooting is now available indoors so you don’t even have to brave the cold outdoors. This could also be good if you want to bring some youngsters with you.
Contact: Direct email to Olly Searl claypigeonshoot@tiscali.co.uk
Drag Hunting
What?
A group of dogs chase a scent that has been laid over the course. Prior to the start of the race, scent (aniseed oil and possibly animal meats) is dragged by a volunteer several miles to wherever the finish line is. The hound first crossing the finish line wins the race. A variation on this is that the hounds are followed by riders on horseback and the hunt ends when the dogs catch up with the scent-layer.
Why?
Fox hunting was banned in 2005 so this is the closest you can get I’m afraid. It’s a fun way to get involved with the spirit of the hunt without injuring or killing innocent animals.
When?
The North East Cheshire Drag Hunt’s season runs from September to March with a drag hunt every Saturday. It costs roughly £40 to participate in an event lasting 3-4 hours.
Contact: Pam Gregory, for more information on 07887 687067 / 01782 511684.
Cyber Hunting
What?
Fairly straightforward- buy or download a package that allows you recreate the hunting environment of your choice. You could even decorate your front-room to create a ambient wilderness. Too much bother? Yeah…
Why?
If none of the above rock your world then you may want to indulge in some hunting simulation. You and you bonding chums can disappear into a simple world of the past and experience the intense competition without even having to venture outside. There are tons of options available to you.
When?
Now! Check out some of these websites to get the ball rolling:
• sports.espn.go.com: A selection of hunting games that can be downloaded for free from their website. Try Deer Hunting, It’s Time to Hunt Turkey, Bear Hunting and the Outdoors Shootout. Unlike some hunting games, these titles show realistic looking graphics, giving you a richer experience.
• terragame.com: This website is filled with downloadable video games including hunting, board games, puzzle, simulation, sports, racing, gambling and strategy games. You can either purchase or try out the demos to see what they are like.
• bubbletoonia.com: Offers free online point and click games including Big Bird Hunting. By using a bow and arrow, try to shoot down birds as they fly across your screen.
Bolving
What?
Apparently an archaic tradition in Exmoor although some argue that it is a relatively new phenomenon. The red deer there are mainly silent and live separately for most of the year. This all changes when it comes to mating season- Sept- early Nov. Stags engage in roaring contests where they make deep guttural noises to attract females and intimidate other males.
Why?
Bolving evolved when hunting was de rigueur and farmers used to mimic the deers’ wails in order to lure and snuff them out. This deceptive behaviour is not really the done thing anymore but the men of Exmoor grew so attached to this practice, they gave it a name, bolving and turned it into a sport all of its own.
When?
The 5th annual bolving competition took place in Dulverton on the 18th October and was well received- raising £1,800 for charity. The competition was judged on sound quality, pitch and the deers’ response. After the event, participants and spectators all pile back to The Rock Inn for the prize-giving ceremony. Due to press coverage the previous year, there was a mass influx of supporters. It could certainly be an interesting location to consider if you are trying to organize a stag do for next year. It will be young bucks a-plently.
Contact: email: mal@webmagik.co.uk or post: The Organisers, Bolving Competition 2009, The Rock House Inn, 1 Jury Road, Dulverton, West Somerset, TA22 9DU
Clay Pigeon Shooting
What?
This one is fairly well known. This is a mocked up version of using a shotgun to kill birds. There are different variations but essentially you will stand in a particular place and clay disks will be released at different points into the sky and you will shoot at them. When you hit stuff, you will rack up points and be able to compete with your comrades.
Why?
Bird Shooting was made illegal in 1921 so this little game has become increasingly popular ever since. You can get the thrill of the hit or kill without feeling guilty when you see tweety-pie.
When?
Whenever you want! Since no living things are involved, you are not at the mercy of their seasonal whims. Laser Pigeon Shooting is now available indoors so you don’t even have to brave the cold outdoors. This could also be good if you want to bring some youngsters with you.
Contact: Direct email to Olly Searl claypigeonshoot@tiscali.co.uk
Drag Hunting
What?
A group of dogs chase a scent that has been laid over the course. Prior to the start of the race, scent (aniseed oil and possibly animal meats) is dragged by a volunteer several miles to wherever the finish line is. The hound first crossing the finish line wins the race. A variation on this is that the hounds are followed by riders on horseback and the hunt ends when the dogs catch up with the scent-layer.
Why?
Fox hunting was banned in 2005 so this is the closest you can get I’m afraid. It’s a fun way to get involved with the spirit of the hunt without injuring or killing innocent animals.
When?
The North East Cheshire Drag Hunt’s season runs from September to March with a drag hunt every Saturday. It costs roughly £40 to participate in an event lasting 3-4 hours.
Contact: Pam Gregory, for more information on 07887 687067 / 01782 511684.
Cyber Hunting
What?
Fairly straightforward- buy or download a package that allows you recreate the hunting environment of your choice. You could even decorate your front-room to create a ambient wilderness. Too much bother? Yeah…
Why?
If none of the above rock your world then you may want to indulge in some hunting simulation. You and you bonding chums can disappear into a simple world of the past and experience the intense competition without even having to venture outside. There are tons of options available to you.
When?
Now! Check out some of these websites to get the ball rolling:
• sports.espn.go.com: A selection of hunting games that can be downloaded for free from their website. Try Deer Hunting, It’s Time to Hunt Turkey, Bear Hunting and the Outdoors Shootout. Unlike some hunting games, these titles show realistic looking graphics, giving you a richer experience.
• terragame.com: This website is filled with downloadable video games including hunting, board games, puzzle, simulation, sports, racing, gambling and strategy games. You can either purchase or try out the demos to see what they are like.
• bubbletoonia.com: Offers free online point and click games including Big Bird Hunting. By using a bow and arrow, try to shoot down birds as they fly across your screen.
Tuesday 28 October 2008
A Sporting Chance (written for men's section)
The Christmas period is, without doubt, prime time to indulge in some gratuitous film watching action. When you have consumed your body weight in turkey, drank sherry, port and snowballs with your nan and even tried weird things that you would never normally eat like dates and gentleman’s relish (bleurgh and you’re not even hungry), what else is there to do apart from have a sugar crash in front of the television?
What do we really want to watch? Sport. We can’t actually get away with that because the female contingent in the living room will start moaning. What’s the solution? Well it’s kind of a compromise really: a film about sport. Everyone wins- it’s what Christmas is all about, kind of.
So what is a sports film? Simple- a film with athletes or events at the centre of the narrative. Unfortunately, what makes a great sports film is far more complicated. There have been countless polls heralding the best sporting films of all time and they tend to conflict with one another because it is very difficult to judge this genre objectively. It is not possible to apply logic; a legendary sports flick does not necessarily owe its success to directorial panache, flawless editing, a faultless script or even a talented cast. Films that tend to remain in the cinematic canon have a somewhat enigmatic quality-they get under our skin. We are boy again, heart pounding, on the pitch and it is death or glory. Or something like that.
Despite there being no winning formula to base my recommendations on, there are some elements common to victorious sporting films for you to watch out for. Use them as a benchmark, if you will:
• The underdog triumphs- he was mercilessly bullied throughout the film. Rather than crawl away into a den of despair, this spurs him on. He rises out of the ashes and we all applaud his newfound courage and strength.
• The inspirational but generally grouchy mentor- he is reluctant, steeped in recent failure, some would say washed up. His cynicism makes it difficult to initially see the sheer genius that is right in front of him. His slow realization gives him a new lease of life and a heartwarming second chance.
• The last minute turn-around- Failure is imminent; there is nothing that can be done to salvage victory. But wait, time out, coach has a crazy idea. It’s left field but what’s to lose? This final decision turns the game around and hands the trophy back to its rightful owners
• Beauty and the beast- she’s the one that everyone wants but somehow she has managed to escape becoming a complete bitch. Unfortunately her taste in men is questionable to begin with but, over the course of the film, she has epiphany and sees beyond shallow looks, realizing that sheer sporting genius is what floats her boat. She therefore shacks up with the underdog, regardless of how aesthetically challenged he is.
• A Hero who has some kind of cross to bear- he has a talent, no-one can deny that, but it has come at a price. It could be financial or academic but a favourite is family tragedy that he is too embarrassed to share.
The polls tend to classify films by genre or specific sport. It is interesting to note that films based on our national sport seem to fail to cut the mustard. If they feature at all, they are very low down the list. There could be two reasons for this: none of them seem to create an inspirational figure and they can get too caught up in cliché. If you must watch a film about football then you could go retro with Escape to Victory, thuggish with Green Street or sentimental with There’s only one Jimmy Grimble.
If critical acclaim is more your thing, the first movie to win Best Picture Academy Award was Rocky in 1976. Other films to gain this title are: Chariots of Fire (1981) Million Dollar Baby (2004), Robert DeNiro also won best Actor for Raging Bull in 1980. All these films will suit the purpose of entertaining you and pulling at everyone else’s heartstrings.
The last option I will give you is sheer comedy value. Films such as Blades of Glory, Baseketball and Dodgeball aren’t necessarily about the true gritty integrity of sport but they will make you laugh. Other films have actually managed to do the sport they explore justice whilst tickling our funny-bone at the same time. Happy Gilmore, Tin Cup, Bull Durham and King Pin all seem to have this magic quality.
So go on, sit back, reach for the Quality Street and let someone else break a sweat.
What do we really want to watch? Sport. We can’t actually get away with that because the female contingent in the living room will start moaning. What’s the solution? Well it’s kind of a compromise really: a film about sport. Everyone wins- it’s what Christmas is all about, kind of.
So what is a sports film? Simple- a film with athletes or events at the centre of the narrative. Unfortunately, what makes a great sports film is far more complicated. There have been countless polls heralding the best sporting films of all time and they tend to conflict with one another because it is very difficult to judge this genre objectively. It is not possible to apply logic; a legendary sports flick does not necessarily owe its success to directorial panache, flawless editing, a faultless script or even a talented cast. Films that tend to remain in the cinematic canon have a somewhat enigmatic quality-they get under our skin. We are boy again, heart pounding, on the pitch and it is death or glory. Or something like that.
Despite there being no winning formula to base my recommendations on, there are some elements common to victorious sporting films for you to watch out for. Use them as a benchmark, if you will:
• The underdog triumphs- he was mercilessly bullied throughout the film. Rather than crawl away into a den of despair, this spurs him on. He rises out of the ashes and we all applaud his newfound courage and strength.
• The inspirational but generally grouchy mentor- he is reluctant, steeped in recent failure, some would say washed up. His cynicism makes it difficult to initially see the sheer genius that is right in front of him. His slow realization gives him a new lease of life and a heartwarming second chance.
• The last minute turn-around- Failure is imminent; there is nothing that can be done to salvage victory. But wait, time out, coach has a crazy idea. It’s left field but what’s to lose? This final decision turns the game around and hands the trophy back to its rightful owners
• Beauty and the beast- she’s the one that everyone wants but somehow she has managed to escape becoming a complete bitch. Unfortunately her taste in men is questionable to begin with but, over the course of the film, she has epiphany and sees beyond shallow looks, realizing that sheer sporting genius is what floats her boat. She therefore shacks up with the underdog, regardless of how aesthetically challenged he is.
• A Hero who has some kind of cross to bear- he has a talent, no-one can deny that, but it has come at a price. It could be financial or academic but a favourite is family tragedy that he is too embarrassed to share.
The polls tend to classify films by genre or specific sport. It is interesting to note that films based on our national sport seem to fail to cut the mustard. If they feature at all, they are very low down the list. There could be two reasons for this: none of them seem to create an inspirational figure and they can get too caught up in cliché. If you must watch a film about football then you could go retro with Escape to Victory, thuggish with Green Street or sentimental with There’s only one Jimmy Grimble.
If critical acclaim is more your thing, the first movie to win Best Picture Academy Award was Rocky in 1976. Other films to gain this title are: Chariots of Fire (1981) Million Dollar Baby (2004), Robert DeNiro also won best Actor for Raging Bull in 1980. All these films will suit the purpose of entertaining you and pulling at everyone else’s heartstrings.
The last option I will give you is sheer comedy value. Films such as Blades of Glory, Baseketball and Dodgeball aren’t necessarily about the true gritty integrity of sport but they will make you laugh. Other films have actually managed to do the sport they explore justice whilst tickling our funny-bone at the same time. Happy Gilmore, Tin Cup, Bull Durham and King Pin all seem to have this magic quality.
So go on, sit back, reach for the Quality Street and let someone else break a sweat.
Friday 17 October 2008
I could not help myself
"I...I...I could not help myself!" Please imagine your worst, trite, prejudiced, stereotyped vision of a southern, gun-toten', in-bred red-neck. Take a moment and savour it.
This was my first run in, that I can remember, with this assertion. I was watching Jerry Springer with my family (I did not have any control over the remote in those days) and we were engrossed in the car crash scenario of sub-humanity that was Mr Springer's dish du jour. The utterer was trying to explain why he had cheated on his wife with at least four members of their family, most probably ranging from domestic pets to 70 year old grandmamas-the facts slip my mind.
My father and my uncle found his words hilarious and it became a motif within family discourse for several months after that. It was used to excuse anything from random occurrences to downright unjustifiable behaviour.
"Why did you finish the last of the milk and not consider it necessary to buy anymore?"
"Why did you think it would be a good idea to simultaneously pass wind while scratching your balls in polite company?"
Eventually this refrain was designated to the graveyard of family sayings, overtaken by new and clearly even more amusing cliches.
I was reminded of this phrase when I was reading Nineteen Eighty-Four. The protagonist, Winston, looks back at his childhood self and tries to make sense of stealing chocolate from his dying sister's hands. Adult eyes return to judge supposedly innocent actions. "I could not help myself" did not ease his guilt but it did strike me how entirely overused these simplistically convenient words are.
What do they actually mean? Linguistically there are two problematic aspects to this statement. Firstly, the negative twist on the modal verb suggests a certainty that I am not comfortable with. It implies an inevitability within the situation; the speaker is claiming that there is no other course of action. Whoever gave it to us, we do have freewill. We are never bound to one course of action, regardless of how much we salivate over the possibility of blaming a predestined fate for our woes.
Secondly this help that is spoken of is fidgetingly ambiguous. Why can't we help ourselves? When we try to apply this anti-logic to situations, isn't it actually the case that we have done just that? Helped ourselves to our own desires, selfishly given in to our baser qualities that we try not to admit to during the 99% of our lives when we attempt to maintain a superficial veneer of being an acceptable human being.
Therefore when these words stumble into the public domain, are we actually arguing that we care too little about ourselves or others to have considered a more difficult or arduous course of action? Did we just shut our eyes, take a gulp and think, fuck it, I'll sort out the flack when I need to?
Given the inadequacy of this justification for behaviour that is clearly not corpus mentus, why does it still remain one of the most overused explanations? Sorry if I've burst some bubbles. I could not help myself.
This was my first run in, that I can remember, with this assertion. I was watching Jerry Springer with my family (I did not have any control over the remote in those days) and we were engrossed in the car crash scenario of sub-humanity that was Mr Springer's dish du jour. The utterer was trying to explain why he had cheated on his wife with at least four members of their family, most probably ranging from domestic pets to 70 year old grandmamas-the facts slip my mind.
My father and my uncle found his words hilarious and it became a motif within family discourse for several months after that. It was used to excuse anything from random occurrences to downright unjustifiable behaviour.
"Why did you finish the last of the milk and not consider it necessary to buy anymore?"
"Why did you think it would be a good idea to simultaneously pass wind while scratching your balls in polite company?"
Eventually this refrain was designated to the graveyard of family sayings, overtaken by new and clearly even more amusing cliches.
I was reminded of this phrase when I was reading Nineteen Eighty-Four. The protagonist, Winston, looks back at his childhood self and tries to make sense of stealing chocolate from his dying sister's hands. Adult eyes return to judge supposedly innocent actions. "I could not help myself" did not ease his guilt but it did strike me how entirely overused these simplistically convenient words are.
What do they actually mean? Linguistically there are two problematic aspects to this statement. Firstly, the negative twist on the modal verb suggests a certainty that I am not comfortable with. It implies an inevitability within the situation; the speaker is claiming that there is no other course of action. Whoever gave it to us, we do have freewill. We are never bound to one course of action, regardless of how much we salivate over the possibility of blaming a predestined fate for our woes.
Secondly this help that is spoken of is fidgetingly ambiguous. Why can't we help ourselves? When we try to apply this anti-logic to situations, isn't it actually the case that we have done just that? Helped ourselves to our own desires, selfishly given in to our baser qualities that we try not to admit to during the 99% of our lives when we attempt to maintain a superficial veneer of being an acceptable human being.
Therefore when these words stumble into the public domain, are we actually arguing that we care too little about ourselves or others to have considered a more difficult or arduous course of action? Did we just shut our eyes, take a gulp and think, fuck it, I'll sort out the flack when I need to?
Given the inadequacy of this justification for behaviour that is clearly not corpus mentus, why does it still remain one of the most overused explanations? Sorry if I've burst some bubbles. I could not help myself.
Friday 10 October 2008
Tied up in knots
I was set to go to the gym on Wednesday, really I was. I had been reluctant initially, dragging my heels by washing up and emptying bins. Menial tasks suddenly seemed strangely inviting in the face of extreme physical exertion. When I work-out, I work-out - no half measures for me. But I felt tired and drained. The day's exertions had greedily gobbled up my energy reserves and I was left feeling uninspired.
Nevertheless I soldiered on. I put on my gym gear (which consisted of natty leggings and boyfriend's Bobby Moore t-shirt- don't really do gym couture) and told myself that I would get right into it as soon as I started to break a sweat. Yadda yadda yadda...
You may feel that I am being deliberately perisphatic. If I was, then it would certainly mirror my procrastinating gym avoidance techniques. However, I am not employing a clever literary device. I am merely trying to accentuate an environment entirely inconducive to emotional epiphany.
I couldn't have been further from my usual state of being the paradoxically self obsessed social observer, ready and willing to pounce upon humanity's idiosyncrasies and exploit them.
I was finally ready in that I could find absolutely nothing else to do apart from go. I reached for my handbag. In it was my one salvation- my Ipod. Hopefully Caleb's special kind of fire would ignite a far more mundane one in me. I pulled the headphones to my ears. I noticed they were knotted. This is not surprising. I am notoriously careless with electrical appliances. The simple rule is that if you put them away properly then they will be ready for use next time. As a chided myself for my slapdash ways, I started to think about how this small inconvenience actually spoke volumes. If I finished conversations, projects, ideas, conflicts, days, relationships, nights (the list could go on) properly then, when I was ready to reassess the situation, it would be understandably easier. If I leave loose knotty, fractured ends of misunderstanding then, when I return to the issue, it is fair to say that nothing will have improved. At the very least, it will be as bad as it was when I left it.
I tried to tackle the problem. I pulled at the knots. This way and that, trying to work out how to free my headphones. I became frantic, grabbing one end and the other at the same time. I could see I was making more knots and contributing to the problem but I could not stop myself.
It got to the point where I felt sick at the futility of it all. I wanted to chuck my iPod at the wall and abandon any plans of moving at all; resolving to stew on the sofa in my own inadequacy.
I started to think that this is often how I approach problems. I launch myself straight in, burrow deeply, expect solutions and people to buckle if I pressure and manipulate them enough. My fervour usually ends up having the opposite effect. My desperation to solve the problem could possibly end up being the problem.
I did not chuck my iPod at the wall. Instead, I took a deep breath and looked at it in an attempt to gain clarity. After a moment, I took one headphone and saw how it was crossed over another wire. I fed it through. I could then see that if I fed it through again, it loosened the first knot. I continued this slow process and eventually the knots began to dissipate.
It made me think, when approaching an issue, I often don't take time to really see it. It is not easy but I think that I need to take one thing at a time and slowly try to make sense of it in relation to everything else. When I come out the other side hopefully things will be clearer. We'll see.
Nevertheless I soldiered on. I put on my gym gear (which consisted of natty leggings and boyfriend's Bobby Moore t-shirt- don't really do gym couture) and told myself that I would get right into it as soon as I started to break a sweat. Yadda yadda yadda...
You may feel that I am being deliberately perisphatic. If I was, then it would certainly mirror my procrastinating gym avoidance techniques. However, I am not employing a clever literary device. I am merely trying to accentuate an environment entirely inconducive to emotional epiphany.
I couldn't have been further from my usual state of being the paradoxically self obsessed social observer, ready and willing to pounce upon humanity's idiosyncrasies and exploit them.
I was finally ready in that I could find absolutely nothing else to do apart from go. I reached for my handbag. In it was my one salvation- my Ipod. Hopefully Caleb's special kind of fire would ignite a far more mundane one in me. I pulled the headphones to my ears. I noticed they were knotted. This is not surprising. I am notoriously careless with electrical appliances. The simple rule is that if you put them away properly then they will be ready for use next time. As a chided myself for my slapdash ways, I started to think about how this small inconvenience actually spoke volumes. If I finished conversations, projects, ideas, conflicts, days, relationships, nights (the list could go on) properly then, when I was ready to reassess the situation, it would be understandably easier. If I leave loose knotty, fractured ends of misunderstanding then, when I return to the issue, it is fair to say that nothing will have improved. At the very least, it will be as bad as it was when I left it.
I tried to tackle the problem. I pulled at the knots. This way and that, trying to work out how to free my headphones. I became frantic, grabbing one end and the other at the same time. I could see I was making more knots and contributing to the problem but I could not stop myself.
It got to the point where I felt sick at the futility of it all. I wanted to chuck my iPod at the wall and abandon any plans of moving at all; resolving to stew on the sofa in my own inadequacy.
I started to think that this is often how I approach problems. I launch myself straight in, burrow deeply, expect solutions and people to buckle if I pressure and manipulate them enough. My fervour usually ends up having the opposite effect. My desperation to solve the problem could possibly end up being the problem.
I did not chuck my iPod at the wall. Instead, I took a deep breath and looked at it in an attempt to gain clarity. After a moment, I took one headphone and saw how it was crossed over another wire. I fed it through. I could then see that if I fed it through again, it loosened the first knot. I continued this slow process and eventually the knots began to dissipate.
It made me think, when approaching an issue, I often don't take time to really see it. It is not easy but I think that I need to take one thing at a time and slowly try to make sense of it in relation to everything else. When I come out the other side hopefully things will be clearer. We'll see.
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